Presence in my Hand
It is Wednesday 20th May 2020. My aim today was to spend the morning catching up with some overdue tasks, but the universe and nature had another plan for me.
I went outside to get some sunshine while having my breakfast and I fully immersed in the present moment, feeling the sunlight on my skin, tasting the explosion of berries and cacao in my mouth, taking in the sweet spring air and hearing the joyful bird songs.
I felt my heart expanding with love and gratitude for being alive.
While I was fully in the here and now, I heard a bird’s chirping coming from an unfamiliar place. As I listened closer, to my surprise, the sound was coming from inside the house.
I went indoors to investigate! In front of my eyes in my sitting room was a tiny little bird looking lost and anxious calling for its mother. I attempted to get closer, which frightened it even more and it run into the corner of the room. Calmly and lovingly I picked it up in my palms and I gently let it out in the garden not knowing how to best deal with the situation.
I felt it had either fallen from the nest or was learning to fly.
So I spent most of my day observing this little bird, which I called Presence. Presence attempted to fly on and off, but was not able to lift higher than a foot. It was unable to even fly onto the raised border. Presence would exhaust its frail body and sit quiet for a while to build up strength again. Some of the time Presence was calling for the parents while looking up towards the sky. I saw the parents hover around the garden with worms in their moth ready to feed it, so I went indoors and out of the way, during those moments. My heart expanded as I witnessed them doing what they could to support Presence by delivering food to it. It was such a beautiful moment! I moment of hope!
Throughout the day I have been going through a roller-coaster of emotions. From wonder to sadness from patience to impatience from helplessness to feeling I can make a difference and help.
By the evening I was left with 2 choices; to either leave Presence outside or attempt to bring it indoors and keep it safe for the night. It got so distressed with my efforts , that I felt my only option was to step back and let it face its destiny.
My emotions were running high, shifting from one polarity to the other. I felt no matter where Presence slept that night it would not really change the final outcome. With heaviness in my heart, I let nature take its course. I left Presence in a corner of the garden under a shrub. It looked so small and vulnerable! Presence touched me so deeply when I saw her curling into a corner to create a nest like environment and feel safe.
The next morning, I found Presence in the middle of the lawn peaceful and lifeless. When I returned a while later to move it, it was gone. Nature has a way of bringing things in balance and order. I was left feeling a sense of wonder and sadness at the same time. Presence’s short life was not in vain.
It had given me such a gift by taking me deep into my feelings, keeping me in the here and now for the whole day and opening the deeper chambers of my heart. Presence finally provided nutritious food in the food chain. Its short life had a huge impact on me that words cannot full convey.
Sometimes spending one day in the present moment, with a total open heart and allowing the feelings to arise, brings more meaning and richness of being alive, than a whole lifetime of avoidance. Presence was a beautiful gift from nature, I will always treasure! Presence was, is and will always be in my heart reminding me to just be! Only when we are fully in the here and now we truly notice and experience the magic of the circle of life and let the heart fill with the gratitude of being alive on Planet Earth.
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